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Thanks for the advice everyone. I've got a lot to consider. I can't not want it, I don't think that's possible for me right now. Or rather, I am unwilling to give up this desire for some reason or another. At the same time, it is not the sort of desire that I can feasibly work towards in this life. So I guess my best bet would be to live this life as well as I can, and remain optimistic that my dream will come true. Not preferable, but doable I think. Once again, thanks y'all.
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