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Hi Tomma,
There may be a resource network you can call upon where she is that could visit on your behalf with Skype, some type of support network. Maybe you could find some type of support group in her area?
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your turmoil. And how you are being is very natural. I also hope you will be gentle with yourself. Whether you go or not, it sounds like you both have great love for each other that transcends distances. And that is a good place to be, no matter where you are.
<3
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