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Tomma,
I'm so sorry to hear. Six years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. The time during her illness and afterward was a whole emotional journey. But there is no wrong. That's our human selves passing judgment. And don't give validation to other's judgmental thoughts - people project their inner storms and lens of reality. Souls are energetically connected despite distance. My mom's soul came to me in a dream during the time she was sick, young and beautiful again waving and then hopping in a sporty car and happily zooming off, to let me know all will be well with her in the end. This didn't feel like any regular dream. It was vivid, and I woke up in this state of peace I couldn't explain. And her soul visited me later after she passed (I could hear/feel/smell her in my house, checking on my kids and me, watching me as I worked, etc.). This was my personal experience. Your mother's energetic connection to you though will be the same regardless if you have such experiences. She loves you. She will understand. And cut yourself a break and hang in there.
Peace to you during this time.
Grace
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