I'm sending some love and positive thoughts your way, it's clear this is something that is still very raw for you. Try and be comforted by the positive memories you have of your friend and what he brought to your life.

With any divination method, 'reading' someone's intentions, their past and even their present circumstances should only be done if, the person you're reading about has agreed to it. Otherwise it's the same as reading someone's personal diary, medical files or any other private information without their agreement.

I understand there are so many questions you wish you could have answered (it's been over 3 years for my daughter and she is still struggling with this) but the reality is there are no definite answers.

Unfortunately the way coroners and inquests go, unless there is concrete evidence of suicide intention, of which there was none, they can't label the death as suicide. It probably appeared 'easy for him to say', however he had to base his verdict on the facts presented (ie drug abuse, no note), sadly, it's cold comfort to family and friends and the facts presented will never rid you of that gut feeling.