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"Maybe that is just the thing about playing on the leading edge of this stuff."
you are probably challenging yourself for a reason. And only one specific way of getting breakthrough in consciousness satisfies you. Thats you. Thats when our nature speaks louder than Soul whispers. But we are all learning all along this way about ourselves and others:) have always loved experimental approach, so can understand you well and |I do know what you mean.
"I usually go very crash course on all of this, so once in awhile I have to dig myself out again from the world crashing down over my head "
you just like to improvise;)
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