Hello Caleb - some thoughts you might (or might not!) wish to consider:
Premise:
Spirit is 'magical', such that "one (magically!) 'attracts', i.e. 'creates'
whatever one
believes and expects can and will be 'the case' ... as is implicit in "Ask, and it
shall be given you; seek, and ye
shall find; knock, and it
shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."
That
you are caught up in and unable to resolve 'contradictions' (by your own admission) suggests (to me at least) that 'contradication' and 'irresolution'
is what
you are
really spiritually 'attracting' (i.e. 'asking' for, even though you may imagine/wish the 'opposite' to be the case).
How can I 'explain' this? Jesus said "The light of the body is the eye:
if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body
shall be full of light." This suggests that there
may be something 'wrong' ('split'?) about
your motives or that your 'faith' may be 'wanting'.
My 'pointer' to you in this regard is for you to consider the possibility that
if you were
really 'open' to 'seeing' the
similarities and
convergences between the 'teachings' you have considered, then
that is what you
would have 'seen', that is assuming your 'conscience' was 'clear' (people whose 'conscience' is conflicted tend to feel that they are
undeserving and so 'magically'
experience the very
opposite of what they 'wish' for).
I would suggest you consider he proposition that
you will (magically) 'create' more of the same kind of experience which you report you have been having (despite your 'wish'
not to) unless you introspectively examine and
change whatever it is 'in'
you that is (magically) being about such result.
One clue: for a person to (magically) create and so experience greater 'wealth' he/she must
begin by seeing and embracing the fact that he/she is
already 'wealthy'. What is called 'poverty thinking' and motivation stemming therefrom will only (magically) result in one's creating and experiencing more and different kind of 'poverty'. The
same principle applies to things like 'clarity', 'understanding' and 'wisdom' pertaining to
the 'truth' as goals.
What anyone (here or elsewhere) says to you will be of no avail if
you do not make the
necessary change 'in'
yourself in this regard
first.