Don't panic, but it's something that I'm 'passing on'. Very often we're reincarnated with the same Souls over and over again, sometimes we remember but more often than not we don't. What can be frustrating is when one remembers and the other doesn't. Are you sensing anything from your therapist other than just him/her being a therapist? It doesn't matter if you don't, for now it's OK to 'see through different eyes' as it were.

Yeah, there's a lot that's passed on via genetics. My grandmother told me when I was a kid that having a bad chest was something that had been handed down through the generations to her and then to me.


I'm a little bit wary of them sometimes because they can get quite trippy but this one's a little 'calmer' than most so I'll have a listen later.


I'm going to reply to this part back-to-front because it'll explain what's going on. If you think about radio or TV channels, there's a lot of them all happening on one band but you only tune into one at a time, and the rest you don't know about. This is what's happening with you and Matt's vids - you're tuning out of that phase with them that you don't need them any more. It's not strange, it's quite natural and right when you think about it. Matt's vids gave you something you needed at that time - at that time - but this is no longer that time. What you need to develop/focus on is yourself and internal stimuli - the yin/yang if you're going to balance. Matt's vids are external teachings and you were ingesting them, they were external. What you need to concentrate more on now is the internal. If this is how it feels then this is how it feels and there's no hypothetical about it.

The extremes you're fighting against aren't the extremes you thought they were - the extremes that are causing you the anguish are the extremes of feeling versus mind/logic. Alan Watts says that when we lose our minds we come to our senses and this is where you're heading - it's uncharted territory for the mind that thinks it needs a chart. Your True Self has the chart, it's sitting happily on a satellite having a quiet titter at you while you're floundering about bouncing off trees in the valley because you can't see around the next bend.

Chart the territory, navigate the waters but un-choppy them, and you are al the compass you need. You have all you need and if you don't have it you don't need it, it's that simple. If all you have is you, you is all you need. Things don't happen to us, they happen because of us and that's a realisation that's worth thinking about. "Give me a tall ship, and a star to steer her by." Yeah I know, that's damned scary territory for you but welcome to my world.

It makes perfect sense, your feelings are all you need to guide you right now. What it doesn't make sense to is your ego - and I'm not giving your ego any bad press by the way. The ego is simply a sense of self in whatever shape or form that is - a sense of "I Am" as Jung put it. Your sense of "I Am" is very much changing.

You'll be there at the end of it regardless, but the big question is what kind of 'you' will you be??? This is happening because of you, because of who you are and where you're going. Life's Purpose if you like, Karmic Obligations etc... We're going to get there either because of or despite ourselves so you have two choices kiddo, you can accept your fate and enjoy the ride or you can kick and scream until you're blue in the face but the result is the same.

Your reality is defined by your perceptions, your perceptions are defined by your beliefs and your beliefs are defined by your definitions. You're defining your experiences as extremes, black-and-white..... Hypothetical.... You could just as easily define them as necessary, interesting, peaking and not oscillating... The head-centric Spirituality has been your peak for a long time but now the heart-centred stuff is coming through, which is emotional energy. And remember energy is a wave, so when you visulaise that it makes more sense. You're not swinging between extremes your energies are peaking - and it's not about positive and negative neither because those are polarised. Go with the flow.

What does your intuition/instincts say about the therapy sessions? Your mind/ego will rebel against this because what's happening is both major change and territory where it feels as though it hasn't had any control, where nothing makes sense. In that respect your ego is like a lost child, scared of what's going on - and yeah I know how it sounds but sometimes talking about it in this way helps. If you 'train your brain' to be more observant and less reactive it might help your situation, because what you're dealing with is more of a knee-jerk reaction. Tell your brain - literally - to shut up, sit down and take notes.

You'll have to see how the twist with the therapist works out for yourself because that's what this is all about, all I can say for now is that he/she is there for you and this experience whatever transpires. Essentially your therapist is there for you to have this experience in whatever shape or form it takes, and the important thing to note is that there are no rights nor wrongs here. We can talk again afterwards but for now I'm being stone-walled so you're very much on your own. Sorry.

Your cards make perfect sense. By the way, you did know Sacred Geometry is at play here? Partnerships and alliances are what's happening right now with your healing and understanding - obviously. The "Awakening to your True Self" is what's happening, which is your uncharted territory - there's no chart because you haven't created one. And you're the only one that can heal yourself because while physical hurts can be fixed, what's inside not so much.

Do yourself a favour and drop the positive and negative, it's polarised thinking and as a being of energy polarised you ain't. If it's not 'this' versus 'that' there's no need to balance the two, if there's just what there is in the moment understanding comes and you can be more in tune with it - and yourself. Energy peaks and troughs but it moves on regardless. Your agitation and your heightened emotions are indicators that your energies have changed, and the extremes are the levels ate which you have them. If your emotions are very high, that means your energy levels are. Similarly with agitation, it's a sign of the changes and not being used to what's going on. When things settle down again you'll become used to them and the agitation will disappear.

Heavy, angry music is low (not necessarily 'bad') vibration while Clannad and Enya especially are very harmonic and very complex. It's also worth noting that it's ancient Pagan-inspired music from the land of the Tuatha de Danaan, or the Children of Diana from ancient Irish mythology.

While we're doing the music bit there's a lyric that comes to mind.
"You ain't seen nuthin yet,
B-b-b-b-baby you just ain't seen nuthin yet."
Bachman Turner Overdrive.

Any loving is good loving so take what you can get, even though it comes in a helluvva whacked out package.