Hi darling , been there , done it, worn the tee-shirt. It's not easy, I won't lie. In fact it was one of the worst times in my life in every sense, physically , emotionally, financially. I was at rock bottom, couldn't have gone any lower. Yet I had to carry on . I had 3 little boys that needed caring for. All I can advise is that you don't live in fear, because that is worse than anything. I wish I had known this at the time, but you must only live in each day. each day do only what you can, and forget tomorrow, that will come and you will do the same again. It's called "living in daytight compartments"... Look it up. In the meantime I wish you well, and always know that dark days don't last forever.