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You are so not alone. I've worked since I was 14, I was never afraid to work until around 18 I started getting panic attacks out of the blue. I'd have to leave work when they came on, I just couldn't bear to be around anyone. These episodes came and went sometimes with years in between. My most recent job had me driving to any of ten retail stores in my territory, over bridges and through tons of traffic, all while taking calls from my two bosses who didn't like each other and represented different companies (I was the liaison). Once I arrived at my store the people, lights, phone calls and training staff while helping customers and juggling a million other things was way overwhelming to say the least. I frequently suffered dizziness, heart palpitations, headaches and mysterious aches and pains with no diagnosis when I'd see a doctor. I stuck it out at that job for five years, and when my position was cut due to restructuring, yet I was invited to apply for my "restructured" job days later my body shut down. They gave me an end date a month and a half out, and I called out "sick" for about three of those weeks. I felt so drained mentally and physically not to mention the emotional part of losing a job right before my wedding.
That was four years ago. I haven't worked since.
I suffer on and off from anxiety and dizziness, along with bouts of depression and mystery ailments, like when you feel like you're sick but you're not. I could be fine one minute, then walk into a big store and get really dizzy suddenly. Despite not having health insurance I recently had a complete blood test and everything was normal. Add onto that, I have horribly painful bunions made worse by standing too long or wearing anything but sneakers with orthotics, so my days of wearing nice professional shoes are over. So are my days in my old profession or area of expertise.
Over the past four years I've discovered I was an empath, or clairsentient and dove right into learning all about what that means...which gave me a lot of answers as to why I've felt so ****** particularly in the workplace. I got into reiki and a self healing journey with all the things I've learned and it's helped me to get away from isolating myself from others, although I do LOVE my alone time. But I'm still not quite there yet. What I want to do can be done from home but I'd be an entrepreneur starting my own thing and it's uncharted territory for me and I'm scared.
Oh geez, enough about me! While I can't give you advice from a position of "I've been there too and I overcame and look at me now!" I CAN tell you to explore what your passions are, what makes YOU happy, and how can you share your passion for that with others? This may give you a starting point. Also, there are so many ways people are making a living sitting behind their computer at home on their couch. I just missed the generation where technology took over, hence the apprehension in starting my own online business. I do like the idea someone here mentioned above about working with animals, also what about a greenhouse or a garden center?
Hugs to you..you're not alone
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