I weave in an out of this board. Sometimes I feel it makes me think of the TF even more and other times it feels so appropriate. What a crazy journey.

Well, I thought I was all cool until I had a complete break down on my bday. I was with friends having a blast and something triggered it. But I began to cry very deeply, that I was afraid I've lost the love of my life and why won't he talk to me, why is he doing this, and so on. NOW, I know it's not that kind of connection. I get the TF isn't about romantic ideals, but you know a few drinks can lower the inhibitions and bring out the emotions. I am blessed to have such amazing girlfriends. Even though they have been listening to me for so long and I try to limit my talk. They encouraged me to let it out, and told me I can't help what i feel. Nope, i sure can't

On another note, I realize that the guy I've been seeing who is really awesome is gonna get caught in the cross-fire . On the one hand, I don't want to turn away from connections with others, but on some level it makes it worse. Like, you aren't him. I suppose if I was really meant to be with him, my mind would shift even a bit. Meaning, lots of people have TF but are with other people. BUT, when that happens I suspect the other person doesn't make them think and long for their TF even more. It's kinda sad since I'll never know if it's just the TF blocking me from going further or if it was never going to be more. But, it's hard he treats me awesome and we have an amazing connection. It's the chemistry that's the issue. I was so on fire for the TF and with this connection, I don't have any butterflies at all. Now, I know the fire ones often burn to hard and too fast, but there should be some kind of tingles, etc

ANYWAy, as alwAYS thanks for the ear and some potentially helpful words!@