So I slept with a man a few years ago and I think about him constantly. I realize this isn't healthy but I've made a honest effort to try to move on. Including, talking to a therapist about it, and cutting him out of my life completely, almost immediately after the fact. I'm feeling a little loopy about the whole thing.
I've done tarot readings of this man and dreamt of him several times. Every time I come across him on social media (by chance) these strong feelings rush over me. I would love to move on at this point... but every time I get closer to it I'll suddenly have a dream about him. It then gets me thinking again that maybe there's a possible connection on some deeper level. What is confusing to me is that when we had sex it was somewhat of a let down. I didn't feel any crazy physical chemistry but somehow mentally I do. Or maybe I'm just searching for something to hold onto.
This man is the good looking, arrogant player type who is self sufficient. But, with that being said I don't think he's a monster. I ultimately made the decision at the time to go ahead with it, I just didn't realize what I was getting myself into.
There is an age difference between us. Sometimes I think maybe my immaturity at the time has helped drag this on for this long.
I really try to focus on myself and personal growth. I never creep or try to make contact. I don't know what to do at this point. Not sure if I'm asking much of anything here, but if you have any similar experiences I'd love to hear them! Or any advice would be greatly appreciated.
