Meant to reply to this earlier but I've been a bit all over the place (I'm sat here imagining that you actually care that it took me this long to reply -
now who's being self-indulgent
).
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story, I could relate to it and I was really touched by it
What I'm feeling more than anything is just the sadness, it can be so terribly difficult when you've formed such a strong bond with someone and they've since frozen you out... it's completely understandable that you're feeling anger, jealousy, depression, and so on, though you've shown good sense to not act on those feelings (I've felt all those things too and the temptation to lash out in some way has been almost overwhelming at times, but for the most part I've thankfully had the good sense to know that it won't help). It's hard to know what to say, really, because I know of the heartache and pain that's involved, and I know how hollow advice can sound when you're feeling so low... but it seems to me that you have a good head on your shoulders :) As others have said, be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to grieve if you need to, and remember that you've always got an outlet in this forum if you feel like talking about it
