Originally Posted by jenviere

I don't know where to put this, so I decided the general Spirituality forum was as good a place as any.


Less than an hour ago, for the second time in about a week, I was attacked by a negative energy while trying to fall asleep. The first time, I hadn't really fallen asleep, yet, so, while a terrible feeling, it wasn't as intense. But the best way I could describe was as though I was being raped. I could feel every movement, I felt like I was being held down, and then I could feel my abdomen swelling. Only moments later, the energy shifted and it felt like something kicking inside my stomach (having been pregnant, before, I could say that it felt very similar to a baby kicking inside of me). After ten minutes or so, everything faded away, and I was able to fall asleep, even though I was still pretty alarmed about what had happened, I no longer felt threatened.

Well, today, it was different. I woke abruptly around 3am, this morning, for no discernible reason. My son woke about five minutes later, so I just assumed that my Mommy ESP was hard at work, again, and I was anticipating his needs before he had them (we have a very close, spiritual bond). Well, I took care of him, he fell back to sleep, and then I climbed back into my bed around 3:30. I couldn't fall back to sleep, despite feeling very tired. I tossed and turned, more than usual. I felt a bit nervous, but wasn't sure why. Eventually, I did manage to drift to sleep, around 4:30.

I usually start to dream as soon as I drift to sleep. From a young age, I would describe myself as having the gift of dreams. I can sense time passing as I sleep, my dreams are very vivid and spiritual in nature, often a bit prophetic, as well. So, as my conscious mind starts to drift away, I get more and more enveloped by my subconscious dreamland. This dream started out very simple, with me walking through a forest. At first, I felt no reason to be alarmed nor did I know where the dream was heading. I was just this happy-go-lucky person, walking through trees. And then, almost instantly, it got very dark and I came to a patch of bare land, no trees, just very short, pale green grass. And I was nervous, but I continued to walk. And then, when I got to the middle of the patch, I realized that it formed a perfect circle, surrounded by trees at every point, and that it wasn't "natural." I immediately knew I had to get away, that this was a trap. I was still slightly awake at this point, I hadn't completely fallen asleep, yet. But as I tried to get away, flashes of images, none of them that made sense to me or that I can even remember, now, came running through my mind, as though I was being forced to see someone else's thoughts. I felt my chest getting heavy and I started struggling to breathe. My heart was pounding so loudly that, even now, I still have pain in my left ear from the sound of it (as though it were a sonic boom). I could just feel all lightness leaving my bedroom and I could just sense this really evil thing hovering over me, as the images continued to flash. Because I was still a bit awake, I was screaming for the rest of me to wake, as well, and I was telling myself, "This isn't right!" and trying to tell myself to get out of there. I was then able to tell myself to concentrate on being light, to become the light. I started screaming out (meditatively) "I am light! I am light! I am good!" and I imagined myself in that patch of grass, becoming a beam of light, so bright that nothing dark could get near me. Of course, it was very difficult for me and I really struggled to focus and meditate, as the dark energy continued to hold onto me. Eventually though, I was able to push it away enough to relax my body and open my eyes. I looked over at the clock, it was 4:38. So, I know it wasn't a dream, there was no time to fall asleep!

Even now, as I sit here, I can still feel the energy nearby, as though it's waiting for me to let my guard down. As tired as a I am, I don't feel strong enough to let myself try to fall asleep. I turned on the lights in my room and I have been in a constant state of trying to project lightness, even as I type this. I said a prayer for my son and mother, who both live in the home with me, because I don't want them to become the next victims after the energy failed to get ahold of me. But I still feel like I'm being watched, just seriously uncomfortable, like something is haunting me. I haven't felt this in a very long time, this has always been a safe house, no sort of energy, negative or otherwise. But I worry that my spiritual journey, becoming more aware of myself, being open, has left me and my family as a target.


I'm not really sure what to do and I don't know that I've reached a place, spiritually, to deal with this, yet. It feels way over my head and I don't know why this is happening. I would love some advice for how to protect myself and my family from further attacks. I need our home to be a safe for my son.