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linen53, it is wonderful to be conscious of our choices, and in my opinion we always have choices, but sometimes we are not aware of all of our options or do not like the options we are aware of. I liked what you said about dumping your life out and having to go through the coming of age once again.
I have talked with military veterans who were prisoners of war and many of them told me that while their physical body was chained to a wall and they were held in a very small cage, their mind was free in spite of this. I think of Victor Frankl, who was a psychiatrist and a Jew who was held in a Nazi concentration camp during WWII. He is the founder of western existential theory, and wrote a lot about "man's search for meaning" while he was held in that Nazi camp. Or Anne Frank, who many of us are familar with.
Can suicide ever be the best option? There are many who think that it is. I do not judge them but I will say that I want my death, my transition, to be smooth and seamless. Unlike what you mentioned about a personal past life experience of suicide. Although, I think having our life suddenly taken by another person (homicide) can be just as impactful to our consciousness as us taking our own life (suicide).
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