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Originally Posted by A human Being
I think you need to ask him what his intentions are, why he's keeping in contact with her - are they just reconnecting in order to resolve something between them so that they can both finally move on, say, or is he actually interested in pursuing a relationship with her? I know that's not an easy conversation to have, but I think honest and open communication is important or else your relationship is going to suffer.
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Well, I suppose I come over a bit bolshy but I reckon she should bite the bullet and next time she finds him messaging this old flame (a new twist on the Old Flame Theory...carry around some litmus paper!) - she should simply say, "I see you're talking to that girl again. I hope therefore you don't mind me resurrecting some of the men friends you asked me to delete when we got together."
Get straight to it. No prevarication, no hand-wringing, no histrionics. If he says "No, you can't." she knows what she has to do. However, he might just say, "Oh ok, why not?" in which case she knows what she might have to do.
I mean, the bloke is hardly a spring chicken. He should be capable of getting a grip at his age or face a break in trust and... well, for me, that would be that.
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