[jimrich]

Help me JUST BE.
Help me to know and happily accept that this is it and that I do not need to cling to or even miss any "special" exotic or blissful moments or events from the past. This is it and it's good enough even if it is not as glamorous or heavenly as some past happening or feelings that I wanted to stay here forever and dearly wish would come back again.
I credit Tony Parsons for helping me see and understand that this is it in all of it's mundane, ordinary, dull, plain, routine and simple essence and that longing for or missing a past moment of spiritual bliss is both a mistake and a complete waste of time. What is, right here and now is it and I need to accept it and let it be just good enough or I'll be miserable and unhappy forever while foolishly waiting around for another rare and unique moment of "spiritual" bliss and wonder.
I once would have seen Tony's message as wrong and bad because I wanted and expected to get spiritually high again and again as before BUT it did not happen! What has happened, thanks to Tony, is that each and every here and now moment is OK and good enough, just as it is. When my late wife crossed over, it was good enough. When I damaged my foot the other day, it was good enough. Sitting here typing this is good enough. In a moment, I will go brush my teeth and get into bed - ALONE - and it will be good enough and as my eyes close and I drift off into sleep, it will be good enough and If I die during the night, it will be good enough! Each apparent event or happening is and will be good enough which is a 180 degree switch from my life long habit of rarely finding anything to be GOOD ENOUGH, in anyway and least of all - NOW. I am so very glad that Tony helped me just be OK here and now and not be stuck in the idiotic pattern of waiting FOREVER for awakening,enlightenment, wisdom, realization, the shift, a break-through, god, jesus, miss right, an arrival, a lottery win, etc., etc. What a relief to be OK here and now and not be anxiously waiting, hoping, planning, fearing, on the edge, trembling and DYING for something GOOD to eventually happen.
Now I see why so many old men are so calm. Their life is nearly over and there's nothing left to anxiously wait for. They say some cancer patients are like that since there is nothing more to hope for or worry about. The end brings a lot of relief for them! I don't want to face death to be relieved of the anxious burden of HOPE. I am done right now. Life is not over but anxiety about life is over. This is it and it's TERRIFIC.
Please help me remember to JUST BE.