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But this is a very personal relationship - one's dad and self is it not?
Why the general questions from the op, and heavily alluding to some emotional disconnect and dissatisfaction over it? I feel uneasy responding to someone who's straddling the line between general and specific.
My answer of only if you let them, is a generally good response and is a key component to 'solving' the general dilemma the op is pointing to.
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