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Welcome, AngelBirds74!
My condolences to you on the loss of your mom. It's understandable to be fixated on death after the loss of someone close to you. I'm sending you lots of positive energy, and hope you'll be able to come to terms with your fears soon.
In the meantime, have some anagram aliases:
Ruby Evensong Starfield
Devyn Bluestar Firesong
Bryndis Genovefa Lustre
Delfina Betrys Sungrove
Betsy Sungold Ravenfire
= AngelBirds Seventy-four
Try to focus on the beauty in the world and imagine how your anagram names relate to it. See yourself in your names. It may help to bring you some calming peace.
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