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Originally Posted by PurpleMist
I know it sounds selfish, because I'm thinking of me, and I would never have wanted my Dad to suffer and his suffering was short thank goodness, so he was blessed in that sense. This is so hard. I'm actually a trained bereavement counsellor, but I'm not practising at the moment, so I understand the theory behind grief and I know every grief is completely different, but I just can't go on without him. My partner is devastated too as she was very fond of my Dad and he was of her too. I just want to wake up and this last month hav all been a bad dream...
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PurpleMist I think how you're feeling is natural and understandable. Others have been right there too and can empathize with how you're feeling right now. I know it's not easy to feel this way but you just have to allow the hurting to be present and then you work your way through it over time. No matter how much it hurts you will not be stuck feeling this way - so just try to reassure and remind yourself that you are going to feel better over time - and you will!
I noticed in your profile that you mention that you have a child (daughter). Perhaps at some point moving forward it would be helpful and beneficial for your healing process for you to focus on the realization that you can give to your child what your father gave to you. You can
be for your child what your father was (and is) for you. The positive influence and love that he extended to you - you can pass it on to your daughter. It's the gift that keeps on giving, and oh what a nice gift. Maybe even someday your daughter will start her own family and be able to pass on the loving influence that was passed on down from your father, through you, and onto her. A multi-generational ripple effect of you and your loved ones uplifting and elevating one another. : )
I think it's interesting that you already have bereavement counseling training. I think you are going to find that enduring through this challenging experience of grieving your father's passing is going to serve to change you in ways that will impart a new level of awareness, understanding, and insight with regards to the nature of the grieving process. Perhaps this experience will end up providing you with an even better equiped skillset with which you can utilize to aid and assist others who find themselves grieving the passing of their loved ones. It could feel like your 'calling' and something which is not only extremely important, but also very rewarding/fulfilling. Just a thought....
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WOLF