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Namaste.
No matter what I apply for in life and no matter how much I apply myself TO it, I never meet the "eligibility criteria" for existence here....no matter whether that is applying for insurance, medical assistance, a volunteer job, club memberships... you name it...and after a lifetime of rejection after rejection, failed appeal after failed appeal, it isn't difficult to see that I have been totally "ineligible" for basic human rights since birth...ergo, I am NOT a human being.
The only thing I AM eligible for, is to be a Shiva Bhakta...to love Lord Shiva.. because God will never reject me...God will never say "no" because I don't meet a specific criteria or standard..God accepts me and loves me regardless of my total "ineligibility" to be a human being according to the political and financial ways of the superficial world.
Also, even though it hurts, I get the distinct feeling that Shiva creates all of these social judgments against me and people who like to PLAY "God" with other people's lives, for me to realise that I do not NEED anything or anyone else EXCEPT for Lord Shiva... because I am tired of hearing "I am sorry to inform you that your application has been rejected/denied because you do not meet our eligibility criteria" (i.e you don't have enough money to afford us).
No matter what anybody else says, from all of my OWN perceptions and personal experiences, the world IS Maya, because if it were not, why do people, in exactly the SAME situations and with exactly the SAME problems, get treated differently depending upon the mood of the "rubber stamp dude" they get on that day?
If the world just went "my way" ONCE, then I would believe it is NOT Maya...So much for me "creating my own reality" thing...tried that, don't work, got T-shirt...So the ONLY reality that I ever get to experience, is the one I DON'T create...and I should be very happy about that, but it tends to make existence in this 3D "reality" a painful chore if you weren't meant to have ANYTHING to do with Maya in the first place!
Time to do some fasting and tapasya to show the world that I no longer NEED it...and to build up my physical resilience so I can attain MAHA SAMADHI effortlessly, when society wants to destroy me through attrition..they can have my physical body..they can have everything I own, but they will never get my mind, heart and soul...those belong to Shiva.
Aum Bhuteshvaraya Namah
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