Originally Posted by iamthat

How do we really change? A good question, and I have no simple answer. For me it has been a long process over many years, but perhaps I am a slow developer.

Everyday life teaches all of us many lessons, whatever our stage of development. But as we become conscious of the process then change seems to accelerate.

Some factors are:

Self-reflection and self-awareness. Sitting in meditation reveals much about our patterns and tendencies.

Self-acceptance. We are what we are. As we detach from identification with personality then we take ourselves less seriously. We can laugh at our particular foibles, we feel self-compassion for our mistakes.

Self-discipline. Some people think of discipline as a restriction, but self-discipline is a freedom.

Letting go. The more empty we become, the more we can flow with life. We have no need to go anywhere or do anything or become anyone.

Being present with whatever is. How many times do we resist reality and want things to be other than they are? This can only lead to suffering.

Forgiveness. Holding on to grievances serves no purpose. So forgive others and forgive ourselves, and in the end we see there is nothing to forgive.

There are plenty of tools out there we can use to help us. For example, the Work of Byron Katie to help us accept the reality of each moment, or Ho'oponopono to learn forgiveness. We just have to apply them.

We are on a journey from identification with personality to identification with Soul. There is a long period where our identification fluctuates between Soul and personality. So there are times when our path is clear, and then we find ourselves having to deal with things we thought we had left behind. The nature of personality is desire, which can never be permanently fulfilled. The nature of the Soul is service, and in service we find fulfilment.

And in the end, we go through all these changes and then discover that within ourselves which is changeless. Our true nature is Being, which is unchanging stillness and peace.

Others may have better answers to your question.

Peace.