I want to say this without advocating suicide, because I don't, honestly, I don't!.... nor do I think it's constructive to advocate it, so I do understand the church's teachings on this, really I do... but...

Mental illness? Please. What is more sane than wanting to be back in God's arms? Is that not what all of us spiritual seekers ultimately want?

Dwell deeper on this. Maybe you will uncover the layer of the onion that is the Puritan work ethic --- reunion with God takes hard work and effort and practice, not an easy short cut. And, I'd probably agree with that, but then there are many additional layers of the onion to cry through as you cut and slice away at this particular question, breathing in and crying out souls as you do.

Don't ask why they did it -- ask what you can learn from it. Here. In your human experience. Go deeper than the pat answers. The pat answers work with your first funeral. Kind of. Maybe. By your 6th you've got to the heart of the onion.

Perhaps the greater insanity is being here. And then you realize -- insane is awesome amazing space to be! Let's hear it for the insane!!!