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Originally Posted by mystical
i never met my twin till i was 29 but i met a soulmater when i was 7 we got very very clsoe from the age of 11 , all our friends would pair up n me and him would always pair off together with him i knew i could be my total self , it was just normal that we paired off , he wnated me and him to have a relationship when we wasin our teens but he was more like a brother , and i didnt view him like this , he became my best friend , however one night we both got chatting and got drunk and ended up sleeping together this felt very very wrong and i felt uncomfortable so i made my excuses and ran , he knew how i felt and said he was worried i would ignore him afterwards , he knew me too well cos i did , for almost ten years , then one day i began thinking of him and really missed him , i wanted my friend back , shortly afterwards he came bk into my life , he had got married and went into the army it wa slovely to have him bk but he wnated more and i was incapable of givin him more , we ended up losing contact again then not long ago , he was on leave and visited home , he came to see me and it was so nice after years to see him again , we hugged and he commented on how ntaural it felt , that this was how it should be , the thing was he was right it was natural how it was always me and him , i use to believe years ago how me and him would always be togteher one day even tho i didnt view him this way but was a belief of mine that i felt within , but sumthing had changed it didnt feel so natural to me anymore because i had previously met my twin , instea dof feeling so ntaural with him i knew in my heart it was never menat to be and that it was natural bein with my twin , he held me the wya my twin held me , he looked at me the same he even spoke like him , but he WASNT MY TWIN , i tried so hard to get over my twin and thought he was the one to do so but i couldnt do it my heart screamed at me it was wrong , it was no longer natural no longer perfect instead he had been replaced with a stronger conection , we are no longer in contact again now and that saddens me that i lost my best friend however i gained a better best friend in my twin........ i must say tho that when my soul mate first cam ebk after all them years it urged me to get my life sorted out , my soulmate is very spiritual , and gave me sum good advice bvout bein able to achieve what i wnated and i did , then he came bk again and it spurred me even more , my soulmate was terrifed because he had heard i was ill , due to my tf , and said if he had lost me he dont know what he would do or how he would handle it so he got me to promise him that i would always take care of myself properly ,
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Wow! You are SOOOOOOO lucky to experience both of those connections in this lifetime! I hope the best for you and your twin and I even hope your soulmate friend finds his twin as well so he can understand, move on and be happy.
Here is my story. It is LOOOOONG but I wanted to share.
I met the woman I believe to be my twin in the Spring of 1988 (hence my screen name lol). From the moment our eyes locked till now almost 23 years later, I have loved her unconditionally. I remember being upstairs in my room when my oldest sister called for me and my younger sister to come downstairs and meet someone. As soon as I got to the turn in the staircase and looked toward her, our eyes met and instantly, a switch was turned on in me. We locked eyes and everything else just went mute. We looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity.
My sister was this girl's babysitter. She had just moved from Detroit to NJ. She stayed over our house 5 days per week (sometimes more) for close to 5 years from the day we met. Oh my goodness... Those were the absolute BEST years of my life. Before her, I never really liked girls like that. I mean, I found them attractive and would harass them at school, but I never felt love for any of them.
Me being a typical boy, I acted like I didn't like her. I would call her names and mess with her and she would do the same. BUT LOL! When no one was looking, we would ALWAYS look into each others eyes for long periods of time. We were communicating without saying a word. We always made sure we sat next to or across from each other at the dinner table. When sitting on the couch watching TV we would always sit right next to each other (four people on the couch at once lol). We'd always sit next to each other in the car. And when we all had "slumber parties" in my room, we'd always sleep right next to each other.
I remember one night we fell asleep holding hands and in the morning, it was back to making fun of each other.
In hindsight, there was also a feeling of instant recognition that I didn't understand when I met her.
I remember she moved back to Detroit a few months after meeting her. OH MY GOODNESS THE PAIN AND DESPAIR!!!! I thought she was gone forever!!! But they came back a few months later and our previous arrangement was continued.
In 1992, she finally stopped coming over. That was a VERY tough time for me. IN fact, it was so tough I tried to force myself to fall in love with another girl in my grade. IT DID NOT WORK LOL! She NEVER paid me ANY mind but I thought she liked me. I even went to her house a few times and each time she told me to go away. I realized instantly after graduation that I was infatuated with the girl in my grade; and at that same instant, I missed my "C!!!" From the 8th grade up until I was about 19 or 20, I hadn't seen her again until one day on the boardwalk. When I saw her, we briefly said hello good to see you and all that stuff and kept on walking. All those feelings I suppressed for her came rushing back. She said she had a baby girl when she was 17. I remember distinctly feeling the dread and thinking to myself it was over when she told me she had a child. I just kept telling myself it was a boyhood crush, she was in love with someone else, and I didn't really love her. That is how I was able to cope.
Then, about 4 or 5 more years went by and I hadn't seen her. I was engaged to my current wife and was getting ready to have a child. I was working two jobs. My fiance and I were at my oldest sister's house, me to get some sleep in between shifts, and my fiance to attend the get together. So I was sleeping in one of the rooms. Then all of a sudden, I hear the front door open and my oldest sister say, "Hey "C!" C said hello in return and sat down. C didn't know I was in the room "sleep." I heard her say she had to go to the bathroom. My oldest sister said, "just try not to wake D up when you go in there because he's pulling a double shift and is trying to get some sleep before going in. So, C went to the bathroom. The room I was in was very dark. She put her jacket in the room and took a LOOOONG time to leave. I was forcing myself not to say hello and just pretend I was sleep. But again, I couldn't deny all those feelings that were overcoming me. So I said "Ay C." She said hello back and we made brief small talk.
After that night, I had to do some more suppressing of those feelings. I did not want to be feeling those feelings for her and not be able to be with her.
About 2 more years went by and I saw her at my job. I'm walking back to my area and who do I see? C! So I call her and she turns around and yells "D!" with a huge smile and runs (yes, she ran lol) over to me and gives me this HUGE hug and tells me shes out with her friends. I gave her another hug and told her I had to get back to my area. So as we are walking away from each other, (this is gonna sound sooooooo cliche' lol) we turned around and looked at each other at the exact same time! Again, all those feelings came rushing back and again I tried to suppress them.
So a few more years go by and I don't see or hear anything about her. I thought about her often but always kept telling myself to let it go.
Then one day, out of the blue, in June 2005, I had the strongest dream I ever had in my life (Ive only had one other that comes close since then and it was about her as well). In this dream, I'm at my oldest sister's house laying on the couch. All of a sudden, C comes walking downstairs, lays on top of me, says, "If you would have just told me when we were kids, none of this would be happening to you" and she kissed me. I could smell her breath, taste her lips, and feel the warmth of her lips in my dream.
I woke up and never was the same again. All those feelings I had for her came rushing back to the surface and I couldn't stop them. I tried DESPERATELY to suppress them this time but a voice in my heart kept saying, no D, she is the one, she has ALWAYS been the one.
So two years later, I saw her at a family function (she and my oldest sister are best friends) and we exchanged numbers. So a few days later I gathered up the strength to call her and finally tell her how I have been feeling about her all these years (Summer of 2008). We talked every night for about a month then it stopped. She was getting married. When she told me, my heart was CRUSHED. I told her its best we just stop talking to each other. She said no, we should stay in touch. I said why? She just said we should stay in touch through my older sister. I said sure.
Needless to say ever since then we keep in touch off and on but privately. We keep it to ourselves. Then, early 2010, I finally got up the courage to ask her how she felt about me and she said the feelings were mutual. Of course I was too scared to ask to what extent. At that time, I just in a round about way told her I loved her (I didn't use the words) and that we should each just live our lives and try to be together when we are older. (Our marriages are both garbage. My wife destroyed our marriage before it git started and C's husband is controlling and physically abusive.)
We've had soooo many moments of I synchronicity or serendipity or whatever you want to call it over the years. All I know is I have fully embraced what I feel for her and the bond we share. I no longer try to suppress it in anyway.
Its now that I feel this immense pull to her. I think about her CONSTANTLY. Sometimes I wonder if its all in my head but a second later I will understand that it is something that I just believe on this indescribable level. I just feel that she and I are one and the same, like, we are the same person. I have this IMMENSE feeling after our last conversation that she wants me to come see her. But I'm scared because if my intuition proves right, one thing will lead to another and we will start something that isn't yet ready to be started. She is VERY private, as I am. I have not discussed with her in depth anything about twinflames or soulmates. However, I believe with every fiber of my being that she feels these feelings about me but she doesn't quite understand them. I really want to go see her this weekend and kiss her for the first time but don't know if I should do it.
EDIT: I'd also like to add that I think she and I ended up in horrible marriages for a reason. I have now come to appreciate my situation and hers. I feel, had I been married to a wonderful, loving woman, I wouldn't know what to do with myself when my feelings for C would arise. I would feel ULTRA guilty and TERRIBLE and would NEVER try to face them. And I feel the same for C as well.