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Originally Posted by Lorelyen
If you're a creative person / thinker, doesn't matter about originality or the depth of your activities, then you don't surprise me.
I posted a link to an article recently that concluded that the more intelligent you are the less friends you're likely to have. It wasn't a one-off, many articles said the same thing. I'd class spiritual people who bother to question what they want (from spirituality), what their aims are etc., as being more intelligent than the sheep.
No matter, it seems that if someone likes to drive your own life - be a bit creative here and there, approach spiritual development with an aim, aren't particularly worried about how others see you and things, then you're likely to enjoy your own company rather than a gaggle of small-talkers. Most people's so-called friends are really just vehicles to acknowledge themselves, being they have yet to establish an identity if they want one.
Here's the first of many articles on google.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/natalie-v...-less-friends/ |
Reading all the comments for that article there, it is easy to see how totally biased and judgmental society is and if you are the type of person who likes to have the freedom to express yourself openly and honestly, you're not going to win many (if any) friends anyway!
I don't have any friends, but I weighed up the "pro's" and "cons" of doing so early on in the piece and went "hmmm... getting to be myself and being totally free within, even though I will feel quite lonely at times ...versus having to hide my true self and be a yes-woman making myself totally miserable just for the sake of having company so I would NOT feel lonely"...in the end, it really became a non-brainer.
There were a few things I found out in the process. We come into this world alone, we go out the same way, and so it is an illusion to believe that it will be any different for the duration OF this life.
Those people who say that humans are "social creatures" are basing that premise on a worn out stereotype...either that, or I am not human...they can take their pick.
Intelligent people DO have fewer friends and the more intelligent one is, the less friends they will have, simply due to the fact that dumb a$$es are totally intimidated by anybody who can show them up for being an egotistical jerk who only THINKS they know it all, but they don't know squat! sad but true.
I don't want to have to constantly unpack any baggage of another's emo insecurities either, and I hate those who TRY and use "guilt tactics" (which doesn't work on a narcissist by the way) to get you to perform like a trained monkey... getting you to do whatever it is THEY want, irrespective of the fact that you may not want to do so and ALL in the name of "personal sacrifice"... usually starting with "If you were REALLY my true friend, you would *fill in whatever applies*"
I can see through every mind trick people use based on emotional needs and the sneaky, underhanded, psychological ploys they pull to get others to comply when it is just called "being used" whichever way it goes and then, we get to decide whether we allow ourselves to "be used" or not..but you can bet your bottom dollar that if you allow it to happen ONCE, it becomes "open season" on your personal space, time and privacy...then the moment you say "I'm sorry, but I can't", you'll never see them again.
It would be good if the "give and take" were a two way thing, but it always seems to be "take...take...take" without any "give" until such times as you are prepared to hit the killswitch at the risk of a friendship, which was probably only so in your own head anyway..
Nah, I have had enough of all that bulldust and yes, I often feel very lonely UNTIL I remind myself that this was the sacrifice I made which gets me over that pretty quickly.