[thespiritual1]

i realize that my life is transient. i came across this thought many times before. Whenever i contemplated on the past, this thought came to my mind that all my past has vanished. It has completely annihilated. Even yesterday has gone into oblivion. Every moment of my life is ephemeral. All in all, my whole life is just a fleeting moment. It is passing away and none of it is coming back. None of it is going to survive. Maybe a picture or memory may exist even when i am dead but i am not concerned with those faroff things. i am worried about my existence, my desires, my opinions and my ideas, whatever that constitutes me. All this that i am right now is going to die in the futures and its not like it will die when i am an old man of 80 or 90. No, it will die just after 2 or 3 years. My thoughts, desires, views and everything that i am right now will change after a few years so that means i will be gone after a few years and never revive. There will be something new instead. Same is the future for my whole life. it will be gone once i am dead and it will never come back. There is no such thing as coming back for life. i have to tried to relive the past by visiting my school, my old house and other places of my past but its of no use. They are completely different and nothing like the past. Each day is disappearing. i have observed this thing happening my entire life for the past 20 years but i always dismiss it because of some religious philosophy or other stupid doctrine that would suggest the possibility of revival.
The fact that life is transient has been banging on the door of my consciousness and i have been ignoring it for many, many, years but now i have finally admitted it. i will die, cease to exist and that will be the end of me.