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Originally Posted by oookiritokunooo
Some of these words that you have mentioned I have never heard before, but I appreciate your reply. The deal wasn't much talked about but it allowed us to feel each other at all times she just told me to kiss her and I did. Recently she was impregnated by a man who was her ex, she kept the kid and went on. She gave birth two weeks or maybe three ago. I haven't felt her since she left. But I've had dreams of her with me in a hotel that I owned multiple times. I don't know I think it's a test of patience and trust but I have no clue. I've really lost touch with my spiritual side period really. I used to be able to identify spirits just by their power/energy level and now I can't even tell if I have a demon here that's how much I have closed myself off.. I'm just lost waiting at this point. Perhaps she has chosen me as a servant but we are both beings with similar power celestially lol
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Perhaps it's time then to take a rest from active spiritual work except maybe contemplation, a few minutes at a time best for you (mine's usually mid evening) ruminating about the day and if this goddess enters your thoughts, ask her "Why me?" See what she has to say and contemplate the answers carefully with honesty.
You may feel you've lost touch with your spiritual side but it's there in your experience somewhere and it'll emerge subtly on the mundane (material) world and in dreams.
Perhaps it's a period of consolidation.
By the way, Svengali as described in Wiki: "The word "svengali" has come to refer to a person who, with evil intent, dominates, manipulates, and controls a creative person such as a singer or an actor." That's why I said "wasn't exactly the same but hints of it," that is, not necessarily evil and you may not be an actor. It doesn't sound like possession where a Spirit takes you over, resides in you and controls. That's something very different.