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Originally Posted by Hemera
Hi
I wonder if you might be experiencing a dark night of the soul. This is when nothing makes any sense anymore and you feel completely lost in life as it no longer holds any meaning for you. It's a kind of death of the ego based personality and an opening to your higher self .The same thing happened to me after a lot of meditation and other spiritual practices. Gradually they no longer held any meaning and seemed pretty pointless. Your alcoholism maybe a last ditch attempt of the ego to cling to an identity in the midst of uncertainty and emptiness. I found this with my depression - it was a way in which my ego could maintain a stronghold.
If any of this resonates with you I would recommend researching Dark Night of the soul as a lot of people go through it along the spiritual path. Eventually you will be able to create your own meaning and there will be a sense of joy and freedom. You may well be able to go back to your meditation and spiritual practices with a renewed sense of what they mean to you.
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This.
I was always highly spiritual, had great intuition & empathy - always the hero.
At one point Earth seemed like a stupid place to live, all of the bad that happens alongside the bickering about trivial things.
Drinking numbs it all - the spiritual path that constantly throws paradoxes your way, the menial earth issues like money & politics.
The only thing that snapped me out of it was "doing good".
I volunteered at an animal shelter & a few weeks later gained a full time job there.
Long story short I met my wife there
Do I understand why a good soul was required to suffer? Not really but I fought back out of anger, did good despite feeling awful & ended up doing OK.
I'd advise doing some good - ignore your own needs as much as you can & act out of principal.
People will sugar coat the spiritual side of things, acting as though they really know how it all works but to me its a lot of false promises & self convincing from in reality very scared people.
I heard a quote " God helps those who help themselves " - whilst I find it cruel I can't really argue that me finding my own feet wasn't beneficial so perhaps, as in nature you just need to fight back.
Good luck.