Agree, agree, agree, agree! LOL!
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Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
In a way, I still don't understand the difference between the "small I" and the "big I" (there is just "I" and "not I") and my thinking mind (which would probably equate with the "small I") is unable to make that distinction as it is trying to understand things beyond its capacity to do so...and it is also this "small I" which interacts with the Universe..so how would IT know any different to what it already does?
Whenever I ask the question "who am I?" the ONLY response I ever get to that is "who wants to know?" ...and I am left wondering if all the saints and Sages of yore ever had that specific issue when it came to Self-Inquiry? LOL
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For me it's best explained by analogy because that's the only way I can even begin to wrap my mind around it. For my entire life I was stumbling around a pitch black room, searching for a light switch I believed existed. When I finally found it (The Big One) and the lights went on belief dissolved, replaced with the knowing of direct experience. The experience of separation between Awareness and mind seems to be
the defining aspect of life now.
Aside from that I can't really add anything from an intellectual perspective except for the long and winding road that led me there. From the small "I" perspective of mind that has to be enough because my impression is that's all it will ever be able to wrap itself around.
It's still intensely curious and will continue drilling down from both a spiritual and scientific perspective, but it doubts the answer to the Big Question of how it all works and fits together will ever become clear from an intellectual perspective.
So yeah, I can definitely relate to your perspective and it has to be an inherent aspect of the gross level of reality we experience, and therein I suspect the difficulty arises.
EDIT: An interesting and quite humorous aspect of it all is how I refer to 'I' and 'me' now. In my mind it's all crystal clear but it's kind of clunky making that distinction in everyday interactions and I don't really see myself doing it in casual conversation like Sadghuru does when referring to his body-mind as 'this one'. LOL!