Hi, I haven't posted on here for years, so i'm a little rusty!

My dilemma is : I have known for 13 years that i'm married to a man that is not my soulmate. I do care for him deeply, I want him to be happy, but I don't particularly like the person he has become (quite negative and mean although decent deep down) also I have a deep nagging feeling that i need to move on to fulfill the life I planned before I came back here.

We have struggled to stay together for all these years, we have seperated twice, once for 9 months (7 years ago) and last year for 6 months, but both times we stayed in contact (more out of habit) and ended up getting back together (I did it mainly for the children).

I was so happy when I was single, I loved life again, joy had returned to my life at all the possibilities, I wasn't being told what to do, what to like, where to go etc anymore, but the kids really missed their dad as we moved 5 hours away and he could only see them every few weeks, which was also really sad for him.

In the end, I gave in to his constant pleas to get back together, things would change etc, but now i've been back for a year and i'm back to feeling the same old feelings I had before I left.

I love him and care for him but we want totally different things out of life and the longer we stay together, the more i feel like i'm dying inside,.

But what about the children, do i stay and keep everything stable and familiar for them and feel joyless and nothing inside (apart from the joy and love I feel for my kids) or do i leave and try and work with my husband to make the shift as comfortable as possible for the kids?
I feel so guilty that i may be doing irrepairable damage to my kids and it stops me from making any decisions.
I'd love to hear your thoughts