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Originally Posted by ohno22
I think you should let it go. You don't seem to be the right match for each other.
Read what you wrote: "The reservations were basically because we are very different people...He did something I didn't like and I was triggered....He was quite angry at me and I got scared of his reaction....I've had a relationship in the past where we use to fight a lot and I guess that was still in me, because I got really scared and got into a "fight or flight" mode."
You seem to have this pattern in you still you should solve it by being on your own or dating emotionally healthy man.
It's not fair that I tell you this because I'm stuck with this pattern too, so I know it's easier said than done.  |
I think the "fight or flight" mode is not a bad thing to be honest. It is triggered as a way of protection from something potentially harmful.
I have been on my own for over 2 years, but there are things that you can only be aware when in relationship to another. You need interaction and the mirroring effect in order to release stuff and heal.
To me, the pattern with this guy is dating emotionally unhealthy men that get closed off and defensive when you speak your truth (and even angry and aggressive).
Yes there were things about him in the beginning that I wasn't sure of, and I should have read the red flags properly. And THAT is the pattern, ignoring the red flags and continuing. Because they exist for a reason, right!?
I guess I need to be very aware of the red flags and actually be with someone where there's actually no red flags and my intuition is 100% positive.