Can you kind people Give me advice?

I felt in love with a straight girl, and I really really want to just be friends to her, but I can't turn my feelings off and so it's causing me pain.
Sometimes we can talk and I'm fine, then I switch the feelings come on and I start having trouble. I don't want to abandon the friendship, at all. I want her friendship.

But my feelings...that's the problem. I just can't stop having feeling. When she makes me smile, when she makes me laugh, that's when I know I'm in trouble.

Why is friendship so hard for me with her ?
P.s. yes I am a lesbian. Please if you have a problem with it just don't answer.
Thanks..