You worked your way up to this level of use (abuse) over time, and you can work your way in the opposite direction back down... Habitual behavior is learned/conditioned and becomes ingrained - subsequently, it can be deconditioned and reversed... Consider setting up a very rigid/strict regimen in which you reduce the amount of alcohol that you allow yourself to consume, and then gradually decrease this amount in increments over predetermined intervals of time... Like you are weening yourself down - and this will give your body and mind time to adjust & acclimate, it won't be too much shock to your system... Also as others have noted and you have acknowledged - the supreme importance of finding some form of counseling or medium by which you can address and process the underlying emotional pain/wounds/conflicts which are serving to influence you to want to alter your regular waking state of consciousness... To address the drinking behavior without also addressing the underlying cause that is fueling the behavior would be like trying to heal/cure an illness by treating only the symptoms. The drinking is the 'symptom' here and your emotional pain is the 'cause'...
I wish you well Lotus... You
can find yourself again (the real you in there), and when you achieve this it will be a glorious victory for you. You absolutely
can do this!
