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Possession
I have been thinking very much of spirits (human or otherwise) possessing living things to either influence, or to enjoy the pleasures of the physical world through said living things. I believe I may or may not be under the influence of such a possession. Today, talking to my father, I learned that if I am being 'haunted', it must be his father. I am adopted, so I am not connected by blood to this man who departed the physical world before I was even born.
In life, this man was an alcoholic. My father described to me the sort of drunk he was; not angry, but sad. He would cry listening to music. I have been suffering 'alcoholism' for almost three years, brooding over a ridiculous relationship that ended as fast as it began. Before I was in this relationship, I was merely abusing the drink, but I was a full-blown alcoholic by July 2013 (relationship ended May 15 same year). The point is that I am the same type of alcoholic as he was - depressed, not violent. I even cry listening to music when I drink like he did. Before my ex-boyfriend, I enjoyed my alcohol. I was a hilarious drunk. Not anymore.
Anyways, I have known for a long time I am nothing like myself, yet I do hold onto fragments of my former self. Mostly, I come across as saturnine and mercurial these days; whereas, in the past, I have been known as quite jovial, full of life and love. Extremely giving. I have gone so far as to steal from my loved ones these past years, and lie to them. I once held so close to my heart the importance of honesty. I am two people in one body, it seems. Maybe my father's father took advantage of my weakened state to enter my life and continue enjoying the drink through me? I don't know. I'm merely looking into Possession - how and why. I thought I would start here.
Please any feedback is greatly appreciated, especially if you are able to tell me how I can know for sure if this is a case of possession. I truly want to stop drinking and I expect it to be so easy because this pattern is absurd and unjustifiable. Then I enter a very dark mood, turning into an utter monster; I say and do things I never thought I could possibly say or do. I speak to things that are not there and I call them evil names like Devil or Darkness (being soft). I am beginning to enjoy it. Oh god, help me... This is not me.
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