Here is something I read a while ago about ego from Deepak chopra.I can't remember the name of the book,but I made some notes.

"If we look at ego without without prejudice against it,this level brings identity into being,not all the external things that ego drives us to pursue,it gives us stories and models to identify with.Ego also gives us knowledge about identity itself,what it means to be human:I can not know who i am without family and society. It can bring us closer to wholeness through sense of one humanity,need for self respect,dignity and inner worth."

Also personally I think jealosy and envy are different.Envy can give you a great drive to try to become the best.Even if you don't become the best,doesn't really matter.It is the process that matters. Don't beat yourself for wanting to be the best.
And if you are looking to be the best to get accepted by other people,I guess only time and self discovery will help,so you can find inner satisfaction,but even then It's not the worst quality.Allowing yourself to feel those feelings and process them ,and having patience,is the best advice I can come up with.