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Old 19-10-2017, 01:15 PM
A human Being A human Being is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Salford, UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akira
Hey there
This is really interesting to me, because most of my mates are the opposite gender to me. We're great friends and there isn't really any underlying oddness between us. I am not even sure there is an undercurrent. I have known most of these folks for years and years now and we're like family. To be honest I prefer these relationships and my own gender don't seem to like me that much in truth. There's always a competitive edge which doesn't happen in the different gender dynamic.

Sexual undercurrent isn't there for me either, it might be for them. Guess it depends, I dunno our relationships are what they are. Maybe the sexual undercurrent is there because you're not friends (as in you see something more in one another)?

As I say there is none of this with my mates - no sexual anything, just great friends who I get to laugh with and share with. Plus I don't really have to be anything, they just take me as I am.

That's my take on it
I do hear where you're coming from, actually, I suppose as with most things it's highly subjective and it gets me to wondering to what extent I'm projecting. I was probably more conscious of a sexual undercurrent when I was younger and less comfortable in my own skin (I'm still not entirely comfortable in it, but I'm much better than I was), which again is maybe more a reflection of how I related to my own sexuality as much as anything. As I say, I do think it becomes much less of an issue when there's an emotional connection - when I've had that with the women I've been especially close to sex has never been an issue, because first and foremost there was a loving bond and a mutual respect. Meaningless sex was never something that particularly appealed to me (I mean obviously I'm a bloke so it did have a certain appeal, if I'm being honest, but deep down it always felt kinda hollow - I always yearned for something more than that).

I think there's something to what you said in seeing more in one another than just friendship, I do get that feeling with the female friend I mentioned because there's always been a mutual attraction that was never realised sexually (it's a really complicated situation, and it pits my brain against my genitals, quite frankly - my fearful mind has won out thus far, more's the pity ). Anyway, I find it warming that it is possible to have a loving relationship with a woman (and vice versa) without the need for sex :)
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