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Hi
I wonder if you might be experiencing a dark night of the soul. This is when nothing makes any sense anymore and you feel completely lost in life as it no longer holds any meaning for you. It's a kind of death of the ego based personality and an opening to your higher self .The same thing happened to me after a lot of meditation and other spiritual practices. Gradually they no longer held any meaning and seemed pretty pointless. Your alcoholism maybe a last ditch attempt of the ego to cling to an identity in the midst of uncertainty and emptiness. I found this with my depression - it was a way in which my ego could maintain a stronghold.
If any of this resonates with you I would recommend researching Dark Night of the soul as a lot of people go through it along the spiritual path. Eventually you will be able to create your own meaning and there will be a sense of joy and freedom. You may well be able to go back to your meditation and spiritual practices with a renewed sense of what they mean to you.
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