Oh my this sounds way too familiar to me. I was just going through this myself. It's rough but its the ego trying to take over..it hates not being in control. you cannot control the connection..you need to understand that. The more anyone tries to the more suffering comes as a reward.
Quote:
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No. If you truly cared, truly loved someone, you'd be with them. I'm sick of trying, I'm sick of all of this. I need to let go and completely move on. I want to go back to the way I was before him.
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It might be something to remember that you told him to never contact you again. You made an intentional block between the both of you. think of what you done. stop blaming him only. it may very well be that he is only trying to respect your wishes. reverse the situation and try to feel what its like to be the one in that position instead. its not very nice is it?
I (ego) am going to cause problems
We as tf/sc's need to understand also that astrology and planetary energies affect us in very big ways. Not like the 3d ego based society. The past week was all about feeling death and give up. This was a clear warning from the universe/divine that we are holding onto our tf's and not letting it do its job on them. that we are interfering and trying to control the connection..and that is their way of letting us know this by.. giving suffering.
Today and tomorrow are going to be major fights within the self..between ego and soul. It's very clear that many tf's are being affected by these energies right now. It's also a warning to be careful of what one says and who they take advice from or listen to.
yes you do need to let go.. stop trying to control by holding onto your tf and let him go to the divine so it can do its job on your tf. the more you hold on you are merely keeping him in place and stuck and your reward will only be more suffering. he will not learn his lessons and neither will you and will never get into union with him.
Have faith that the divine will do whats needed to be done and trust in the journey.