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Wow, Colorado, this was beautiful. I almost cried.
Recently I've just been pulled towards sources with the same message-
'Love yourself.'
I can vaguely remember it started last year when I met someone who might have been my twin soul, but I can't say for sure.
In summary, I was telling him how I beat myself up constantly and trying to learn how to treat myself better, so he told me that when people beat themselves down it makes him sad, so he told me the importance of self-compassion and even sent me Youtube link about it.
Look up Duke University Professor Explains "Self-Compassion" on Youtube if you want to watch it.
It's less than 3 minutes long.
Then gave me he gave me a PDF book called Awakenings from the Light: 12 Life Lessons from a Near Death Experience by Nancy Rynes.
I haven't finished it because I'm going through the dark night of the soul and my energy gets easily drained, even from reading!
But the few chapters I read were worth something to think about.
Love was a very important theme; love for oneself and others.
I even came across a song that was described perfectly what I was going through regarding a one-sided crush.
The last lyrics was perfect.
"So once again, I'll walk on alone.
Just the thought for once maybe I could be with somebody else.
Maybe love yourself, before someone else, is what it really means,
To be alive."
Your talk with God really hit something in me.
When you say like energy attracts like energy, so true!
I even experimented with being truly happy for a few days and it attracted really nice people! But I am still learning how to love myself so I am sincere in my feelings and self forever...
This process that I am going through currently...
I can't even describe it; how it affects something deep inside me, in my soul...
This feeling is like having something I can't physically grasp or even see, but it's there! I can feel it. Like digging for the truth...
This morning, I woke up feeling like something was missing inside me.
I felt like groaning and wanting to hug so badly.
Wanting to feel a warm love form someone who loved me back, but I don't have that someone.
This happens to me sometimes I never really knew how to satisfy it, but it would go away from time to time.
Anyways, this morning, however, I told myself in my mind that I am pretty, loved, smart, good enough, and just complimented myself while hugging myself and I felt better!
Love is truly important. Especially for oneself.
I have been on an incredibly hard journey too much for words, but I do want to say that I mentioned a one-sided love earlier. Well, that guy told me the most important person you have to take care of is yourself first.
Yes, it's so important, I need to learn to love myself, take care of myself...
Again, the same message...
Either in 2015 or 2016, during the dark night of the soul, I had this strong feeling as if I knew I was reborn; I looked at everything around me and even my own self and cried because it was just so beautiful.
I cried at the thought of creation, of being created, that anything exists!
I cried in shame thinking that I have this body and soul, but I don't know how to live right, I don't know how to treat it right.
I also felt that this might be my last life and I wanted to be free of all the hate and anger inside me and be at peace.
I'm only 23 years old, but I feel like I need to change myself and learn how to love like Jesus had loved us.
I need to be at peace because if I died, I don't want to die with great animosity inside me.
I prayed to God to help me because I feel so much darkness inside me...
If you lived in darkness for so long, it's all you ever known...
So when light, in all it's shinging glory, comes your way, it hurts!
You're blinded and need to close your eyes and run away!
It takes time to adjust to the light...
I think that's what's happening to me. God is helping me to adjust to the light. To put away my old life in sin and live anew in Christ.
But again, the light is so harsh....I need time to adjust.
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)
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