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Phoenix, I dont know what ages your and your wife's kids are, but I had an extremely difficult issue for many years with my two step daughters, who were 5 and 7 when I met my husband, at the time, my own daughters were aged 18 and 20 and were at university, they lived with my exH during the holidays, as I had moved out to live with my new partner, whom I later married.
Step issues cause many a second marriage to flounder and are extremely tricky. In my case, my husband's exW turned my step daughters against me, right from the word go, before she had even met me. I never managed to create a good enough relationship with my SDs because of this.
I found a huge amount of help and support from a specialist forum dealing with step issues - if you google "Step Talk" you will find it. I honestly think my marriage might not have survived had it not been for the help I received there.
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