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Originally Posted by EsterHanna
Hi! I’ve been following this forum for quite some time and finally decided to get an account.
For decades I’ve been thinking about a recurrent dream I had from approximately the age of 6 until maybe 10. Me, my mum and three younger siblings are at a railway station - when this dream first appeared I had never gone on a train though, from the age of 9 we start to go a few times a year -
Strangely my mum wears a grey fur jacket. This jacket was very strange to me when this dream first appeared, I remember that clearly, since a fur coat/jacket was something i had only seen on posh ladies once or twice. So it was important for me to notice the fur.
The color of our bags (light gray faux-leather with a textile black and yellow stripe across), is also important for me to notice in the dream, I just know that.
It’s wintertime and freezing cold, we’re standing at the platform, looking for the train. Then my mum tells me that we need to change platforms, it’s the one on the other side we’re supposed to be at! Suddenly we’re in a hurry, we’ll miss the train! In the dream I know that is devastating, we are quite poor (as in “real” life) missing the train would mean we won’t get our ticket money back, and can’t afford to buy new ones....
We have to take a shortcut, over the tracks to the other side, my mum decides looking at me. You go down and check for us, she says to me, check if the tracks are slippery due to the cold. I do NOT want to jump down to the tracks, know instinctively it’s dangerous (the first time I have the dream, after then every time I have the dream I remember what will happen from the last time), but I do it without a fuss since I’m “the good child”, I never make a fuss about anything, not even in this dream.
The tracks are really icy, slippery, almost immediately I slip and at that moment a train is right in front of me, I see every detail of the high-speed engine only centimeters from my face where I’m sitting on the tracks and I know this is it.
Wake up, heart pounding and very sad.
Several times a year I had that dream, always exactly the same
Then my mum inherited a grey fur jacket when I was about 9.
When I was 11 my mum bought new bags for our vacation, light gray faux-leather with a textile black and yellow stripe... I tried to make her choose another color since I was really scared my ”death sentence” was near.
Still alive 30 odd years later, not that afraid (a little though!) of railwaycrossings I wonder about this dream. I’m convinced it has a lot of meaning.. There are so many layers in it, have a lot of thoughts about it but would really appreciate your view on it. There is so much insight and wisdom among you all, maybe someone would like to share your opinion on it, please!
Note
As a child I “knew” things and “saw” things, which for one felt good and natural though impossible to tell anyone. From about the age of 12 until 32 I didn’t want to be bothered with the “knowing” and “seeing”, had turbulent years and a lot of sorrow and distress. Nowadays I’m on a path back to my original self.
Thank you for your thoughts about this!
EsterHanna
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