Quote:
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Originally Posted by Michel H
Hmm, you probably meant:
"Those little cute (kid)*******s never obey, when they need to."
I had some trouble understanding you, but I think I have understood what you mean now.
The voices I hear are very scary, and are difficult to simply ignore. They can convey an impression of threat and aggressivity, beyond the words. They sometimes get "support" from neighbors, who make (sometimes, not always) (extremely) violent noises, apparently to try to "break" me. I am also, from time to time, attacked by car drivers nearby, who react to my thoughts, and to what I say privately. Also, they use real violent events seemingly correlated with my thoughts occurring anywhere in the world, as an argument, to try to push me to self-destruction. In addition, being a very isolated person, I am more fragile and vulnerable to these voices. But, there are sometimes various people who help me too. One of the things that I try to do, and which is not really childish, is to study world events and to try to provide some modest advice, in order to try to counter the argument that "I kill people". I don't think I have really much choice.
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Sorry my english skills. I try my best
Your story have same elements, what I experienced very many years very often. I was encountering aggressive drivers or other odd almost accident events almost every driving session. I had a bad luck ever time I was doing something, I felt like some negative forces prevented me to do any fun things in my life. When I was walking and I didn't see cars on the driveway, I was ready to go to crosswalk, but just before crosswalk one car appeared from the both directions and they drove front of me at the same time. I started to call later those events as 'holy trinities'. I injured my back and it bring me more problems. I saw negative thinking people around me. I was also isolated and fragile like you. Nobody believed me when I tried to tell about my events until I met my wife and she experienced, what I experienced.
Sometimes, I was also seeing self destruction events and felt mentally 'i kill mysef'. I still felt power of love, joy and strength in my chest and I knew those negative things are not my ideas somehow. I studied a lot about paranormal and all other possibilities.
Eventually three years ago I moved to live to another city and everything changed and events dissapeared and I started to feel free. Then I was ready see my fears, asked to meet my spirit guide and experienced this so called spiritual enlightenment. Now I know sources of the negativity, and I recognize a people from my past who carries a lot of pains and self destruction feelings. It is like seeing through them, but I don't draw into me those bad feelings, ideas and visions.
You really go through rough times and I pray for you all the best.