I have been lied to and betrayed to the extreme. All my life this has been happening. Even those that should have been there for me and protect me, such as my "parents", were no parents but abusive and destructive. Numerous times I have come across people that pretended to be friends only for them to betray me to the extreme, lie to me, use, abuse and exploit me. I have never come across a person that was genuine, a real friend, a trustworthy colleague, or anything like that.

I don't trust no one now. I have learned that everybody who enters my life, in whichever capacity, is a liar, a fake, a pretender and an abuser. Numerous times I have trusted someone only to get stabbed in the back and betrayed, hurt and abused. And always the abusers laughed at me for suffering from their actions and clearly got a lot of enjoyment out of it.

Despite this I still love others. Generally speaking that is - but if someone gets too close to me then I get suspicious. And I am glad about this because everybody who ever pretended to want to get close to me has always, ALWAYS, turned out to be a liar, an abuser and a traitor. I have to be extremely careful and I have long learned that nobody genuinely wants to get close to me - nobody genuinely wants to be my friend, potential partner, supportive colleague, or whatever.

I certainly cannot trust any more. And - sadly - this is a good thing because I continue to get lied to and betrayed. I used to listen to people who were saying I should trust and that not everybody is bad - the result was more tragedy and more abuse, betrayal and destruction. Now I know that really good people, trustworthy people, are extremely rare. The majority of people are dishonest and live double lives and want to harm others. Unfortunately this is reality nowadays and not negative thinking.

I am still open to genuine people who want to enter my life as friends. But I don't expect this to happen any more. And I don't think this will ever happen.