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Originally Posted by Emm
Must be our age LOL, it takes a lot of energy to harbour old grudges.
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Sometimes you just can't be bothered with the dramas when the reserves aren't what they used to be. They say youth is wasted on the young.
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Originally Posted by Emm
You don't have to consciously develop spiritually...my husband certainly doesn't see the need he prefers to just enjoy every moment, in fact he loves to moan, he does it so well even his grandkids call him Grumps  However in a crisis he comes up with the most wisest of comments...most unlike him True though, there must be something to be learned on both sides of the coin so maybe calling it "wrong behaviour" was a mistake on my part. Articulating what I mean isnt a strong point of mine  |
Spirituality doesn't always bring wisdom and wisdom doesn't always come from Spirituality. Often the greatest wisdom has come from living a Life with open eyes and having learned and experienced what Life itself has brought your way. Spirituality is not a good teacher of human nature, and that's what makes the Universe tick.
If there is no coin? If there just is?
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Originally Posted by Emm
Yes deep seated repetitive thoughts certainly give the wheel its momentum ...if only we knew how to switch it off? I used to work with preschoolers and one of the things we were taught when encountering emotional outbursts was simply to redirect their attention elsewhere...it worked remarkably well...its all a matter of focus, I even tried this with adults including myself of course lol.
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That's the thing, sometimes people just don't know any better. Some want to keep that particular wheel turning while others can't find a way to jump off it. But if we started thinking "What's going on with them?" we're at least beginning to turn all of that around. I have a favourite saying that's helped me quite a bit - "Look behind the mask." The mask is the emotional outburst and something has led to it, and even if we think 'OK, there's something wrong with them' it turns everything around and - as you say - redirects our focus. If someone kicks off and we respond automatically with "You bounder, you cad!" then we're just as guilty of spinning the wheel.
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Originally Posted by Emm
Yes I can understand that...but unfortunately it also leads to Self Pity which isnt comforting...it just keeps you in suffering. I knew someone very close to me like that ...they become very manipulative and doesn't bode well in relationships.
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It can lead to self pity but it can also lead to other things as well, sometimes it's just an automatic behaviour that is triggered and there can seem like a loss of control. Sometimes there's a frustration that people are responding the same way and often a different response makes a huge difference.
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Originally Posted by Emm
I guess it depends on triggers...I met my dad this year after a 40 year absence. I always thought it would be good to meet him again but I didn't expect some of the resistance I felt at times during conversation. I could have communicated it but saw little need to bring up old wounds after such a long time so let it go. Some things stay buried until the right moment comes up for healing...we just need to be aware I guess.
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There are no easy answers, I guess it's a Life's Purpose for some and their brains have just been hardwired with it, and that's something that takes a lot of changing and you have little control over it. Sometimes the best you can do is acknowledge they are the way they are.
Sometimes the unresolved issues stay with you and they can be very hard to let go of if they aren't brought to any kind of conclusion, and sometimes they can bring you straight back to where you left off. Feelings aren't always affected by the passage of time and it doesn't always heal all wounds. But I;d like to believe that somewhere inside we connect at a deeply Spiritual level even if we're not conscious of it at the time, and as long as we can be at least accepting we've got half a chance.
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Originally Posted by Emm
Well it seems there are many ideas of what spirituality is ...but I see your point. Live in the moment, but isn't that also being spiritual even if you don't know it?
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Well, that's the big question, isn't it?
"Spirituality is not theology or ideology. It is simply a way of life, pure and original as was given by the Most High of Creation. Spirituality is a network linking us to the Most High, the universe, and each other…”
Haile Selassie
He says it much better than I could. I've never really been much interested in the ideologies and the theologies although I'll Google something if I feel the need. And for me, there's far more to betrayal than ideologies.
"God made man, man made religion and belief systems."
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Originally Posted by Emm
Often its not what you've done but how you feel about yourself or beliefs you hold for the world in general...with betrayal and lies maybe you have trust issues and the betrayal is confirmation that no one can be trusted which intensifies the belief which attracts more of the same...karma, cause and effect. All this may simply have had its beginnings when a parent breaks a promise.
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Again there are no simple answers, just a whole huge pile of possibilities that may go back to even childhood as you're suggesting. Beliefs, paradigms, expectations, past experiences......
It's been said that if you don't know where you've come from you don't know where you're going, so how true is that of our pasts and how they've led us here? If we could discuss how we ourselves have been brought here and get it all vented, would we find it easier to forgive others because we understand ourselves better? Or vice versa?