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Old 27-12-2016, 02:26 PM
Sarian Sarian is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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I could have wrote what you wrote...although I don't know if I had an awakening or not. I've never felt like I fit in with this world, even as a kid. I did my own thing...never considered myself an empath but I knew I was way too sensitive for my own good. Any kind of cruelty sent me spiraling. I remember neighborhood boys took bird's nest with baby birds from a tree and put it in a garage...I was heartbroken and snuck in and took it out and tried unsuccessfully to save them and the grief I felt was almost unbearable. I seemed to feel the pain of everything. If I saw someone afflicted with something, I grieved. It wasn't the best way to live feeling all this and it never got better...on the other end, every day is like a new day. My ex boyfriend used to love this aspect about me and that was how the beauty I did see in the world impacted me so much, filled me with such joy I would be in tears (if not out and out sobbing)...and I felt sheer bliss.

I cannot do social media...I often wish life did not evolve to this point of people living on social media, cell phones, computers...there are advantages to cell phones and computers but people get addicted to them too and cannot seem to step away from them. I've got a cell phone with no frills because I don't want it but albeit I wish I had one at times to look up a location or hours of a restaurant, lol. I come to this forum and that's it. I don't want a list of them to waste my time at. I find absolutely nothing good about social medias. why do we need to plaster our lives out there for everyone? Who cares?

I've always felt like I was an old soul and recognized this when I was a child and especially by a moment I had at one point and I was very much aware of my thoughts and feelings. I was 3 or 4 but I was thinking like someone old and wise...I thought and was aware that I was thinking these thoughts in a child's body and that blew me away for an instant but I never forgot that.

Anyway, today's my birthday and I'm no spring chicken and I still feel like I'm a misfit in this world. I don't feel old or young ...I said one day to someone that I was running one day and heard a sound and turned to look back and in that instance I saw me as a 17 year old... it was weird because I don't even know how I could see myself or why I even would see that...I was looking towards the sound I heard but instead saw me as if I briefly went somewhere else... Anyway it was like I was ageless...not old, not young, I just was.
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