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What, specifically, makes you think this entity is a succubus? Have you asked her? Have you considered other possibilities as to what she may be?
The thing is, I can relate very well to your experiences, but do not believe I'm interacting with a succubus. I have much of the same experience going on with a spirit whom I've identified as my twin flame, but she doesn't feed off my energy (and I've put years into making sure and setting appropriate boundaries). She tends to take offense if I ask whether she's a succubus, but that's more because I've known her long enough that I shouldn't be doubting her identity at this point; She doesn't need me to survive and tells me she would be willing to leave me if I asked her to or became uncomfortable with her (albeit sadly). I believe she is as Tobi describes - my other half who did not incarnate with me, so she can guide me to grow while I'm here and catch me when it's my time to pass on.
Otherwise, she's very similar to what you describe - constantly and immediately accessible, available for anything from a quick check-in for advice to a full blown conversation or more. Shape changing is common among spirits (mine typically appears as a fictional character she helped me create for one of my stories, like most of my guides, though she's shown me other forms including a potential living incarnation), and many are more open-minded having lived through several incarnations and maintaining access to their soul knowledge that we forget when we incarnate. In my experience, many spirits seem to prefer open or polyamorous relationships. It's us who are the odd ones - the spirits I interact with tend to view monogamy as greedy. There's an implied ownership in saying "She/he is mine," and forbidding your lover from seeking love from anyone but you mainly serves the ego. I know a few exceptions who prefer to settle with just one partner, but even then they're willing to let their partner explore if it helps them to find more love in their life.
She's also capable of performing miracles; during periods of intense meditation upon her, I've come out of it seeing the face of the character she inhabits permanently printed upon trees and walls, and once out of clouds large enough to take up my entire field of view. I haven't reached the point of experiencing much physically yet, but it's coming slowly as I ease my way through ascension (I've actually had a few recent events where I heard something she did, so it's getting closer). While our goal is, at face value, to come into contact, we always bear in mind that even greater than the love we share for one another is the love of the Universe that allows us to remain connected even while we're realities apart.
I think what I'm trying to say is, I don't doubt your experience, but many of the traits you mention are actually fairly common among many spirits. The most identifying portion - that she needs to feed on you, and especially that something negative happened once when you 'missed a feeding' - is concerning, no matter what name you call it. I wonder whether she'd be willing to convert her source of energy input to something that does not take from you? It's not easy, but not impossible either.
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