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Originally Posted by jro5139
I think that woman dress up for each other just as much, if not more, than to try to attract a man. I think a lot of it is competition. There aren't even that many man where I work and the woman dress up and wear lots of jewelry. lol..
I see nothing wrong with dressing nice though. I guess I don't care about the cavemen that can't handle it.
The courtship is def gone. Unless you date a man sig older than myself, you're not going to find that.
I thought about it though, and the men that I can talk to and relate to on a friendship level are older, and married and have respect for boundaries (for whatever reason). Men that are single, don't usually care much to be friends with a woman, they don't seem to. I've only met a couple guys in adulthood that were single and actually were my friend for a pro-longed time.
Although when I'm out in public, it's not men's energies that I find hard to take, it's women's. Men's energies in public and whatnot, generally do not bother me.
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Hey there Jro! I agree it's fine to dress nicely or whatever your style is. None of it has to be aggressively sexualised though. That's just a desperate, mindless capitulation to what I consider to be a degraded mainstream paradigm. And in a culture where men are taught to value women for casual sex and that women exist primarily to bootlick them and service them sexually (a really disgusting culture message, and one that has been normative for several decades), then most men will not value women as friends into adulthood...too many become hardened, addicted, and cynical under the direction of the mainstream culture, and from that place, many close their hearts to our humanity unless we lead with our crotch in the subservient, dehumanising little "dance" of the obsequious and the demeaned.
As always, it's on us to say no, we will not partake of that...as our culture is not looking out for us, and nor is anyone who seeks to relate to us on a base level. By drawing our boundaries and saying we won't participate in sex without love "relationships" and that we have to get to know one another as people and as friends, we are letting men know that we value our own humanity even when the culture and most men do not.
Many men will have to grow up and get clean on their own as men, in order to even begin to have the capacity to see us in our full humanity.
So we as women always need to be ready to stand and advocate for our own humanity. But in order to do this,
women need to grow up as well and take ownership, so that we can first recognise what is right and good -- and then, from that position of clarity, we can advocate for ourselves.
A large chunk of men have been deeply misdirected and damaged by our predatory culture, and they will find themselves struggling to relate to women without demanding her sex as a condition to get to know her. Too many women have also mindless accommodated these men in their youth especially, and the men now habitually and desperately seek to push their grasping needs onto all women, including women who are emotionally mature and find this arrangement revolting and exploitative.
Those men simply will not "get there" anytime soon, and your time is precious. So for many of us, a relationship that is fair and balanced and has parity and respect in friendship, without demands for sex without love or commitment, simply isn't at hand. What is on hand is lacking all these things but the sex, and has long since lost any appeal. It's tragic many men can't truly be friends with a woman, and yet because of that, nor can they ever love a woman authentically and simply for who she is, without the demands and expectations of sex without love up front (and maybe ever).
And as for energies, I find some (not all) men to have a predatory, leering gaze that is offensive and disturbing. It's obnoxious that we even allow this. Everyone needs to guard their gaze and bring their gaze up to the level of one another's humanity.
I almost never have that sort of overtly hostile, overreaching reaction from women. Again, it's largely down to the culture and who we allow to be predatory and what we condone. When we all take ownership and recognise one another's humanity, then we can begin to move forward.
That will mean men reigning in their predatory behaviour in search of hard-core sex. And that will mean women taking ownership of their behaviour, and no longer mindlessly enabling a society of predatory sex addicts to have at their bodies without authentic love and a meaningful engagement of their mutual humanity.
Then and only then, within a real context of getting to know one another as people, can men truly begin to know and appreciate a woman's humanity, AND her friendship.
Peace & blesssings
7L