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Originally Posted by mikkimanyhawks
i am not saying i'm a weak person, i'm saying right NOW i am weak and vulnerable, because i'm so confused. fear and doubt are making me weak-minded.
i've just been hoping someone here would have a similar experience. or that someone would be surprised at how strongly i felt about this and believe i really am Lakota, even if not technically. i know that would just be too easy, but i hoped for it anyway.
also, WhiteWarrior, i saw one of your other posts and you said your connection was to the Cherokee. what exactly did you mean??
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I have a connection to the Cherokee because they decided to adopt me because I have helped them in a previous life. Their claim, not mine, I know very little about my past lives and have near to no memories of them myself, and it was their initiative. I doubt this adoption counts in any legal sense, but I appreciate the act and that they gave me a Cherokee name which I treasure. Since then, I have been approached several times by an ancient Cherokee spirit. I am not going to call myself a Cherokee.
Let me tell you something about my blood heritage. Three out of my four grandparents come from the far north of my country. The fourth was a local, but he died when I was one year old. I never met my grandfather in the north either, only my step grandfather. The one grandparent I had much contact with through my youth was from the far north but lived down here on a small farm, and I visited her many times both with my parents and later. Her house is now my cabin, and I go there often. It is that place I consider my true homeplace and Sacred Land. And indeed, the spirit of that grandmother comes to say hello still to me now and then and tell me to put on more clothes when I walk in the forest she loves as much as me. I have been up north a few times but I have always been a stranger there in every sense of the word, even though I have always been welcome. I think where you belong has a lot to do with where your heart is home. The places I grew up on never had any kind of hold on me.
I can see that you are very focused on the Cherokee part of your heritage. I have no intention of discouraging you from seeking it, but I fear that even if you were 15/16 Cherokee it would still be hard for you to be considered one in full if you was not raised on a reservation, felt the oppression or the unity of the people or saw the best and worst parts of reservation life from close up. Give the tribe your respect, open your heart for them, and maybe your path will one day in the fullness of time lead to you fully becoming one of them. Stranger events happen all the time. But patience and hope must be your friends.