[grungegrunge]

I have had this sickness for 6 months and everytime i tried to get rid of it it feels good for 2 seconds then it comes back full force with real life symptoms

My new symptoms is me not breathing and my lungs being frozen

My bodys energy defense mechanism is moving it constantly out of my body and i feel extreme tingles when it leaves my feet
My awareness of my body is heightened almost normal and the sickness decreases then it feels like it just sucks back into me.

Then out of no where I feel heavy almost like i cannot control my own body

Like I will pay attention to real world stuff and my body is trying to actively move it out but the problem is when it happens i hold my breath.
I am constantly paying attention to my breath to make sure i am breathing because If i focus to much on other things i stop breathing and hold my breath

Other people just tell me im full of **** and to go to a doctor and when I did do it They patted me on the back told me im going to be fine and then
They give me anti biotics which helps all my problems

I have no clue why I am doing this.
It makes real life maddening because i cannot focus on anything more than 2 seconds besides my throat

I have anxiety from it.


I have gone to like dozens of healing people half do not know what this is 1 third doesnt want to work with me and the other ones give me temporary relief when it comes back they jet on me

I am looking for a mentor who will make sure I do not overextend myself or hurt myself in this process.
I think i either need this or a group of healers who will brute push this out of my body.

This sickness is going to my lungs feels like 2 spheres are in my throat

I have a few parts of this sickness i need to address
One sensations that are overwhelming Tingling that goes through my body so much i do not feel my body which then leads me to not breathe and almost pass out.

two
my point of focus is so focused on my throat and breathing that I think the point of focus is the cause of the sickness itself aka wherever i focus on is where causes the sickness

3 It is pared to my throat and lungs if i meditate the feeling hardens in my throat
try to remove it feels like a heavy smoke like feeling that weighs me down

4. I do not know how to deal with this myself I am in such a rut that I do not know what to do other than focus on this, How can i do normal things if i just continually focus on breathing and this sickness.