If you want help, you need to change your paradigm. No true loving guides will manipulate you in this way. It's sounds like malevolent spirits and the best way to overcome their interference is to shield your own soul with love. Seeing as how no other entity you call on for help is working, you need to empower your self. Meditate, focus on a seed word. Say that word over and over and allow yourself to naturally feel it as the feelings come. i would suggest starting out with a word like strength. Then after some time, move onto other words like love.