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@july14 Your feelings are perfectly real, and I don't mean to invalidate anyone's feelings with the things I write. But it's good you're questioning some of your own beliefs and thoughts about it. I understand the energy and the way it drives you crazy.. feeling those things without attaching anything to them (like stories about what *should be* because of what you *think is*) is the best thing to do. You can find self-comfort in experiencing them. You're being there for yourself, and that's the most important thing. The connection teaches us to go deeper into ourselves, to find balance where it always was. Our egos just tend to blind us to that reality with all the stories it's built up over the years. The spiritual path therefore is not one of learning, but one of unlearning. And taking that path will be more help to you than anything else you can do.
Keep up the good work :) You're a brave person.
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